Reading at University: A Guide for Students

Reading at University: A Guide for Students

Gavin J. Fairbrain and Susan A. Fairbrain

Open University; openup.co.uk

A List of the Sections and Sub-sections

By: Mezemir Girma, mezemirgirma@gmail.com

The authors are introduced as such: “Gavin published widely on education and applied ethics. One of the books he co-authored is entitled ‘Reading, Writing and Reasoning’. Susan works with the Ethnic Minority Achievement Service teaching literary skills in Manchester Schools.” One can easily say that they are avid readers deeply concerned about teaching and education. Surprisingly, the couple are not from the fields of language studies.

What I did in this piece is presenting to you a list of all the sections and sub-sections of the book. One of my aims is to help people who can’t access the book consider the issues in it. They can search the web to acquaint themselves with these issues. My second objective is to motivate people to read the book. If you, for example, have access to Debre Birhan University Libraries, you can get a copy at the social science library. You may also buy a copy from Amazon or anywhere abroad.

I really liked the book and the way it is presented. I wish I read it when I was a freshman. There are things I have been doing wrongly which I hope will change soon. I am considering my reading, note taking, writing and research skills and ways of improving them. As you might know, I am also obsessed with speed reading. This book has enlightened me on that too. Such new issues like ‘picking up intellectual cargo’ are also impressive for those of us reading books and articles written by experts in our fields of study. Do we really find this activity simple or difficult? There is also barking at text. This is like a disease in the reading community! Let us proceed to the contents of the book in question:   

 

An introductory note

The importance of reading as a student

Better readers make more successful students

Who is this book for?

What’s the point of reading as a student?

Is learning to read better really worth the time and effort?

But aren’t most students already competent readers?

Getting to know this book

What do we hope to achieve?

How to read this book

Tasks

Language and Style

Essays or assignments?

Style

First, second or third person?

Gender

Part 1: Thinking about reading and about yourself as a reader

Thinking about reading

So what is reading?

Growing as a reader

Old habits die hard

 Thinking about yourself as a reader

Slow reader

What are you like as a reader?

How do you read?

What do you read and why?

Part 2: Reading as a student

Thinking about your carrier as an academic reader

What and how do you read as a student?

Where and when do you do your academic reading?

Why do you read as a student?

Good and bad, positive and negative reasons for reading as a student

Academic readers of different kinds

What kind of academic reader are you?

Part 3: Developing your skills as a reader

Read faster? Read better?

Make your reading speed fit your purposes

Speeding up your reading

Thinking about your eyes

Guessing ahead, key words and meaningful chunks of text

Skimming, scanning and sampling

Is skimming worthwhile?

Visiting a book for the first time

 

Part 4: Active reading: developing a relationship with texts and their authors

Don’t be a passive reader and take what you read at face value

Overreliance on the authority and the reliability of academic texts

Approaching academic reading

How do you read newspapers and magazines?

Developing a strategic approach to reading

Sorting out your reasons for reading

Sorting out your purposes and expectations

Active reading: developing as a disciplined reader

Make meaning as you read

Evaluate the author’s success in communicating her ideas

Engage with the author

Decide on further reading

Approach the text with questions: decide what you want to get from it

Have specific questions in mind as you read

SQ3R: Survey, Question, Read, Recite, Review

‘Having’ and ‘Being’: two ways of approaching reading

Part 5: Deciding what to read

What books to read: text books or academic books and articles?

Where should you begin to read when you are reading for an assignment?

Using reading lists

What do reading lists list?

Is it worth reading? Using structural features of academic texts

Using structural features of books

Title, blurb, publishing history

Contents, preface, acknowledgements, foreword

Index

Reference list/bibliography

Layout

Gutting a book

Using the structural features of journals and journal articles

Part 6: reading and note taking

Note taking as a student reader

The mindless note taker

How do we take notes?

Note taking that suits your own learning style

Approaching note taking in different ways

Underlining/highlighting and making notes on the text

Linear notes

Key wording

Pictorial notes/web diagrams

Comparing the usefulness of linear and diagrammatic notes

Using note taking to uncover content

Note taking as a way of focusing on content

Note taking as interrogation

Some important advice

Summarizing texts: paraphrase or precis?

Précising your own work

Part 7: Reading and writing

Reading and writing: two sides of the same coin?

Using your reading to develop your text

The patchwork approach

Citation and referencing: the practicalities

To quote or not to quote?

Part 8: Where to read and when?

Where to read?

Reading in familiar surroundings

Reading in libraries

Libraries aren’t always the best places to read

Grazing on library shelves

Reading in unfamiliar and strange surroundings

Reading in a cupboard

Strange libraries

Reading on journeys

Reading at work

When to read

Finding the best times and places for different reading tasks

Have you tried doing it standing up? (or reading when everyone else has gone to sleep)

Reading while waiting for others

Reading on holiday

Part 9: share your reading with friends

Sharing reading

Share books and other texts

Share out the legwork of reading

Developing your ideas by sharing your reading with others

Develop reading skills with friends from a different subject

A range of benefits

Part 10: reading your own work

Drafting and redrafting your essays

Read your work as if it were written by someone else

Copy-editing and proof-reading

Postscript

Getting round to reading

Rewards and carrots

Eating elephants – breaking down mammoth tasks

Reading for me and reading for them

አርአያ - የመጽሐፍ ማጠቃለያ

ደራሲ - ግርማቸው ተክለሐዋርያት

የታተመበት ዘመን 1951

ዘውግ - ልቦለድ

ይህን መጽሐፍ ያገኘሁበት ታሪክ በራሱ መነገር አለበት፡፡ በአዲስ አበባ ዩኒቨርሲቲ የድህረ ምረቃ ቆይታዬ በ2003 ዓ.ም. ነው እጄ የገባው፡፡ ስድስት ኪሎ ግቢ በር ላይ ዘርግቶ ከሚሸጥ ነጋዴ አግኝቼ በዐስር ብር ይመስለኛል የገዛሁት፡፡ ሳላነበው እስከዛሬ አቆየሁት፡፡ ይሄው ጊዜው ደርሶ ለመነበብ በቃ፡፡ ይህ የመጽሐፉ ቅጂ የጄኔራል ዊንጌት ትምህርት ቤት ንብረት የነበረ ነው፡፡ ተማሪዎች ያነበቡት ስለሆነ የያዙት ማስታወሻ፣ ያሰመሩበት፣ የቃላት ፍቺ የጻፉበት ሁሉ አለበት፡፡ በ1950ዎቹና 60ዎቹ አማርኛን እንዴት በቁምነገር እንደሚማሩት ተገንዝቤያለሁ፡፡ አማርኛውን በእንግሊዝኛ የፈቱበትም አለ፡፡ አብዛኛው የተጉለት አማርኛ ዘዬ ነው መጽሐፉ የተጻፈበት፡፡ ለማናቸውም የሁለተኛ ደረጃ ትምህርት ቤት ተማሪ ልቦለዱን ማንበብ ግድ ነበር፡፡ ይህ ትምህርት (ዊንጌት) ቤት የመጻሕፍት ክምችቱን ለምን እንደሚያሰርቅ አላወኩም፡፡ አሁንማ ቴክኒክ ትምህርት ቤት ስለሆነ ልቦለድ ላይኖረውም ይቸላል፡፡

መጽሐፉን ክፍል አምጥተው አለፍ አለፍ እያሉ ያነበቡልንና ያሳዩን በንዑስ አማርኛ እማር ስለነበር ተባባሪ ፕሮፌሰር ዘሪሁን አስፋው ነበሩ፡፡ ዝርው ልቦለድ የሚል ትምህርት አስተምረውናል፡፡ የኢትዮጵያን ልቦለዶች ታሪክ ያስቃኘን ይህ ትምህርት ብዙም እንድናነብ አያስገድድም ነበር፡፡ በቅርቡ ዶክተር ፈቃደ አዘዘ ፖለቲካው ዩነቨርሲቲ ስለገባ ይህን ጉዳይ በጽሑፍ ግልጽ ዓይነት ፈተና ቀርቶ የደራሲ ስምና ዓመተ-ምህረት መጠየቅ ጀምረናል ብለዋል፡፡ አዲስ ተማሪ ሆኜ ስገባ ገለጻ ያደረጉልን እኚሁ ዶክተር ቁጭታቸውን ያኔም አይቻለሁ፡፡ ምን ታደርጉታላችሁ! እኛም ብዙም የምናነብ ዓይነት አይደለን - በኔ እይታ የእንግሊዝኛ ተማሪዎች የንባብ ልምዳችን የደከመ ነው፡፡ የኢትዮጵያ ስነጽሑፍ ቅኝት የተባለው ትምህርት የተሻለ አስነብቦናል፡፡ መምህርት ሠላማዊት መካ እናመሰግናለን! ለአስር ማርክ አሳይመንትሽ አምስት ልቦለድ ማንበብ ግድ ነበር፡፡

አርአያ የገጸባህሪው ስም ነው፡፡ ከሸዋ ተወላጆች ሐረርጌ ላይ ይወለዳል፡፡ በትምህርቱ ትጉህ ስለነበር አንዲት ፈረንሳዊት ወደ ፓሪስ ወስደው አስተማሩት፡፡ በዚያም የዩኒቨርሲቲ ትምህርቱን ፈጽሞ በእርሻ ሙያ ከተመረቀ በኋላ ወደ እናት አገሩ ተመለሰ፡፡ ትንሽ የቢሮክራሲን ውጣውረድ አየ፡፡ በእናት አገሩም እየሰራ ሳለ ኢጣሊያ ኢትዮጵያን ለሁለተኛ ጊዜ ትወራለች - በ1928 መሆኑ ነው፡፡ አርአያም ወደ ማይጨው ይዘምታል፡፡ በማይጨው ጦራችን ከደረሰበት ሽንፈት በኋላም በአርበኝነት ተሰማራ፡፡ አርአያ ሚስቱን ስርጉትን ያገኘው በዚሁ በአርበኝነት ዘመን ነው፡፡ አገሪቱ ነጻ ስትወጣም ወደ አዲስ አበባ ገብቶ ህይወቱን ጀመረ፡፡ ልቦለዱ ታሪካዊ ልቦለድ ሲሆን የወቅቱን ታሪካዊ፣ ፖለቲካዊና ማህበራዊ ሁኔታዎች ያስገነዝባል፡፡ የፍቅርና ሌሎች አማላይ ልቦለዶች ማንበብ ለለመደ ሰው ሊሰለች ቢችልም በታሪክ ላይ ፍላጎት ላለው ሰው ሁነኛ የእውቀት ምንጭ ነው፡፡

ከረጅም ባጭሩ አርአያ ይህን ይመስላል፡፡ ከኢትዮጵያ ቀዳሚ ዘመናዊ ልቦለዶች ውስጥ አንዱ ነው፡፡ በመሐል በመሐል ስዕሎች አሉት - በእማእላፍ ሕሩይ የተሳሉ፡፡ አርአያም ስምን መልአክ ያወጣዋል እንዲሉ ለትውልድ አርአያ እንዲሆን ይመስላል የስሙ አሰያየም፡፡ የሃምሳዎቹ ልቦለዶች ስነምግባር ስለሚመክሩ ይህ ጭብጥ የተለመደ ነው፡፡ መጽሐፉ በ1930ዎቹ መጨረሻ ተጽፎ ቆይቶ ነው የታተመው፡፡ የደራሲው ቤተሰብ ታሪክም መሰል ይላል፡፡ የአባታቸውን ታሪክ ማንበብ ለዚህ ይረዳል፡፡ የፈረንሳይኛ ቃላት፣ አገላለጾችና ጥቅሶች በመጽሐፉ አሉ፡፡ ዛሬ እንግሊዝኛ ጣል እንደሚደረገው መሆኑ ነው፡፡ ግማሽ መቼቱም ፈረንሳይ፣ ፓሪስ ነው፡፡

ከድርሰቱ የወሰድኳቸው ጥቅሶች፡-

‹‹አዎን ለዘላለም በሚያስደንቅ ተአምር ኢትዮጵያ ነጻነቷን መልሳ  አገኘች፡፡ ነገር ግን እንግዴህ እንዳለፈው ተመልሳ ትተኛ ይሆን?፤ ያንድነትን ጥቅም የነጸነትን ዋጋ በዚህ ባምስት ዓመት መከራ አጥንታውና ተረድታው ይሆን? ጠላት ካደረገባት የጉዳት ስራ ውስጥ ወደ ፊት የሚጠቅም ትምህርት አግኝታበታለችን?፤ ኀይልና ሥልጣኔ ከምን እንደሚገኝ ተረድታዋለችን? ወዳጆቿንና ረዳቶቿን ለወደፊት ለይታ ዐውቃለችን፤ ደማቸውን አፍሰው የተሠዉላትን ቸሮች ልጆቿን ለወደ ፊት ታስባቸዋለችን? አንድነትና ኅብረት፣ ሙያና ምግባር የነጻነቷ ዋስ መሆናቸውን ተገንዝባው ይሆን? … እንደዚህ ብዙ ነገር ይስብ ነበር፡፡››

ለጥያቄው መልስ አለዎት? 

“Le Plus grand defaur de la penetration ce n’est pas de n’aller point jusqu’au bout, mais c’est de depasser”

‹‹ሲራቀቁ ያለው ታላቅ ጉድለት በነገሩ ባለመድረስ አይደለም፡፡ የነገሩን ወሰን አልፎ በመሄድ ነው እንጂ›› ፈረንሳዊው ዱክ ደ ላሮሽኩኮ

‹‹ጥበብን የሚፈልግ ከተፈጥሮ ጓደኛው በታች አይውልም፡፡›› ቀ. ኃ. ሥ

‹‹ገንዘብን ቆጥባት፤ ነገር ግን አትውደዳት፣ ፍቅሯ ኃይለኛ ነው፤ ሳይታወቅኽ ባሪያዋ እንዳታደርግኽ፡፡››

‹‹የጊዜን ዋጋ የማያውቅ ትልቅ ሊሆን አይችልምና፣ ጊዜህን በከንቱ እንዳታባክን››

‹‹በጣም አስቸኳይ የሆኑ ብዙ ጉዳዮች እያሏችሁ በሌሎች አትድከሙ፡፡››

“Celui qui voie les interets permanents en souffrance ou en peril et qui se tait, ne trahit pas seulment la verite, il trahit son pays.” DE LAMARTINE

‹‹መሰረታውያን ጥቅሞች ሲጎዱ ወይም ባደጋ ላይ ሲሆኑ ዝም የሚል እውነትን ብቻ አልካደም፤ አገሩንም ከዳ›› ደ ላማርቲን

‹‹እኛ የተማርነውን ወጣቶች አገራችን ስንገባ ገዢዎቻችን በደኅና ዐይን አይመለከቱንም፡፡ ለነጻነት ፍቅር እንዳለንና በተለይ ላገራችን ጥቅም ማሰባችንን ስለሚያውቁት የምናድግበትንና ቁም ነገር የምንሠራበትን መንገድ ሁሉ ተከታትለው ይዘጉብናል፤ ስለዚህ ሁሉ ወደ ፈተና እንጂ ወደ ደስታ እንደማልሄድ ይታወቃል፡፡››

‹‹ኢትዮጵያ አገራችን ምንም ባንድ መንግሥት ያለች አንድ አካ ብትሆንም በያውራጃዎቹ የመቀናናትና የመናናቅ መንፈስ መኖሩ የተረጋጠ ነው፡፡››

የመጽሐፍ ዳሠሣ

 ደቂቀ እስጢፋኖስ፣ በሕግ አምላክ

ትርጉም (ፕሮፌሰር ጌታቸው ኃይሌ)

አአዩ ፕሬስ 2007

የገጽ ብዛት - 331

ዋጋ - 97 ብር

ይህ መጽሐፍ በሌላኛው እትሙ ሰውን ማሰቃየትን እኛ የፈጠርነው እንዲመስላቸው እንዳረገና የሃሳብ ብዙህነትንና የአማራጭ ሃሳብ መንሸራሸርን እስካሁን አለመቀበላችን ታሪካዊ ሥር እንዳለው ፕሮፌሰር መስፍን ወልደማርያም የጻፉለት ነው፡፡ አራት ገድሎችን፣ ማለትም ገድለ አባ እስጢፋኖስን፣ ገድለ አበው ወአኀውን፣ ገድለ አባ አበክረዙን እና ገድለ አባ እዝራን ከግዕዝ ወደ አማርኛ ተርጉመው ለአንባቢያን ያደረሱት ፕሮፌሰር ጌታቸው ኃይሌ በአጼ ዘርዓ ያዕቆብ ዘመነ-መንግሥት (1426-1460) በዚህ አስተምህሮ ተከታዮች ላይ የተላለፈውን ውሳኔ በአማርኛ ያስነብቡናል፡፡ ለአብ፣ ለወልድ ለመንፈስ ቅዱስ በቀር (ለወላዲተ አምላክ) ሥዕል፣ ለመስቀል፣ ለንጉሥ አንሰግድም የሚሉት የመስራቹ የአባ እስጢፋኖስ ተከታዮች ከቤተክርስቲያን ቀደምት ታዋቂ ሰነዶች ዉጪ የሆኑትን መጻሕፍት አይቀበሉም፡፡ እነዚህ እስጢፋኖሳውያን በንጉሡ ችሎት ቀርበው ከካህናተ ደብተራ ጋር በግልጽ ክርክር ያደርጉና ይፈረድባቸው ጀመር፡፡ የእንቅስቃሴው ተመልካቾች አልፎ አልፎ የፖለቲካ ገጽታ የሚሰጡት ይህ እርምጃ ከአንዳንድ ወገኖች የንጉሡን ፍትሐዊነት ማሳያ አድርጎ ይወሰዳል፡፡

የስቃዮቹ ዓይነት በርካታ ሲሆን የሠውነት ክፍልን መቁረጥ፣ ጅማት መምዘዝ፣ ግርፋትና፣ ድብደባን ሁሉ ያጠቃለለ ነው፡፡ የኢትዮጵያ መንግሥት እስከ ሃያኛው ክፍለዘመን ድረስ እነዚህን የመሳሰሉ በአካላዊ ጉዳቶች እንደሚፈጽም ‹‹ተፈሪ መኮንን›› በሚለው መጽሐፍ ሳይቀር ተጠቅሷል፡፡ ይህም ቅጣቱ የባህላችን አካል የሆነ ከሆነ በነዚህ የሃይማኖት ተቃዋሚዎች ላይ የተጋነነ ቅጣት ተፈጽሟል የሚሉትን ሰዎች መከራከሪያ ውድቅ ሊያደርግ ይችላል፡፡  

ከንጉሡ በኩል ያሉ ምክንያቶችን ያየን እንደሆነ፤ በብዛት አከራክረው ውሣኔ ይሰጣሉ እንጂ በግብታዊነት ግፍ አይፈጽሙም፡፡ በደብረ ብርሃን የብርሃን መውረድን አስመልክቶ ሁለቱም አካላት፣ ከዘርዓያዕቆብም ሆነ ከእስጢፋኖስ በኩል ያሉት፣ ለኛ ከአምላክ የተላከ መልዕክት ነው ይላሉ፡፡ ይህን ነገር ከሳይንሳዊ አተያይ የሚያዩት ደግሞ በደብረብርሃን ያለፈችው ሃሊስ ኮሜት ነች፤ ይህም ምንም ዓይነት ተዓምር ሳይሆን የተለመደ ሂደት ነው ይላሉ፡፡

እንቅስቃሴው ሴቶችም አሉበት፡፡ ‹‹ትወጋ እንደሆነ እንደወንድ ውጋ›› ብላ አንድን ሰውነት በስለት የሚወጋ የአጼ ዘርዓያዕቆብ ወታደር የተናገረችውን ሴት ደቂቀ እስጢፋኖሳዊ ማየት ይቻላል፡፡ ደቂቀ እስጢፋኖሳውያን ራሳቸው የጻፏቸው የብራና ሰነዶች ናቸው ተተርጉመው ለአማርኛ አንባቢያን የደረሱት፡፡

የእንቅስቃሴው መስፋፋት የሚያሳስብና ሥርዓትንና ሐይማኖትን ወደተለየ አቅጣጫ የሚወስድ እንደነበረ ለመገንዘብ ይቻላል፡፡ ሃሳባችንን አንቀይርም እያሉ ለእርድ የቀረቡት እስጢፋኖሳውያን ዓላማቸው ምን እንደሆነ የሚያሳስብ ሲሆን ምናልባት የፖለቲካ ዓላማ ይኖራቸው ይሆን ያስብላል፡፡ 15ኛው ክፍለዘመን ላይ የነበረው ይህ እንቅስቃሴ በአውሮፓ የመጣውን የተሃድሶ እንቅስቃሴ የሚቀድምና የሃገሪቱን ታሪክ የሚቀይር እንደነበረ መገንዘብ ይቻላል፡፡ በአንጻሩ ሲታይ የንጉሡ ሰራተኞችና ሹሞች በትግራይም የእንቅስቃሴውን ተከታዮች ይቀጡ ስለነበር የፖለቲካ አይመስለኝም፡፡ በትግራይ ብቻ ሳይሆን በሌሎቹም ክፍላተሃገራትና አውራጃዎች ተከታዮች አፍርተዋል፡፡ ይህም የአንድ አካባቢ እንቅስቃሴ ሳይሆን የአገሪቱ ምዕመናንን ያካተተ ብልጭ ብሎ የጠፋ ክስተት ያደርገዋል፡፡

I almost experienced what Stephens's son experienced in his childhood

“A few years ago, my wife Sandra and I were struggling with this (deep-rooted problem) kind of concern. One of our sons was having a very difficult time in school. He was doing poorly academically; he didn't even know how to follow the instructions on the tests, let alone do well on them. Socially he was immature, often embarrassing those closest to him. Athletically, he was small, skinny, and uncoordinated -- swinging his baseball bat, for example, almost before the ball was even pitched. Others would laugh at him.

Sandra and I were consumed with a desire to help him. We felt that if "success" were important in any area of life, it was supremely important in our role as parents. So we worked on our attitudes and behavior toward him and we tried to work on his. We attempted to psych him up using positive mental attitude techniques. "Come on, son! You can do it! We know you can. Put your hands a little higher on the bat and keep your eye on the ball. Don't swing till it gets close to you." And if he did a little better, we would go to great lengths to reinforce him. "That's good, son, keep it up."

When others laughed, we reprimanded them. "Leave him alone. Get off his back. He's just learning." And our son would cry and insist that he'd never be any good and that he didn't like baseball anyway.

Nothing we did seemed to help, and we were really worried. We could see the effect this was having on his self-esteem. We tried to be encouraging and helpful and positive, but after repeated failure, we finally drew back and tried to look at the situation on a different level.

At this time in my professional role I was involved in leadership development work with various clients throughout the country. In that capacity I was preparing bimonthly programs on the subject of communication and perception for IBM's Executive Development Program participants.
As I researched and prepared these presentations, I became particularly interested in how perceptions are formed, how they govern the way we see, and how the way we see governs how we behave. This led me to a study of expectancy theory and self-fulfilling prophecies or the "Pygmalion effect," and to a realization of how deeply imbedded our perceptions are. It taught me that we must look at the lens through which we see the world, as well as at the world we see, and that the lens itself shapes how we interpret the world.

As Sandra and I talked about the concepts I was teaching at IBM and about our own situation, we began to realize that what we were doing to help our son was not in harmony with the way we really saw him. When we honestly examined our deepest feelings, we realized that our perception was that he was basically inadequate, somehow "behind." No matter how much we worked on our attitude and behavior, our efforts were ineffective because, despite our actions and our words, what we really communicated to him was, "You aren't capable. You have to be protected."
We began to realize that if we wanted to change the situation, we first had to change ourselves. And to change ourselves effectively, we first had to change our perceptions.”

Stephen Covey, the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

I feel that his son’s childhood story was mine. I felt this way as a child.

My Take Away from the Great Book of Leadership

“There is no real excellence in all this world
which can be separated from right living.
David Starr Jordan

In more than 25 years of working with people in business, university, and marriage and family settings, I have come in contact with many individuals who have achieved an incredible degree of outward success, but have found themselves struggling with an inner hunger, a deep need for personal congruency and effectiveness and for healthy, growing relationships with other people.

I suspect some of the problems they have shared with me may be familiar to you.

I've set and met my career goals and I'm having tremendous professional success. But it's cost me my personal and family life. I don't know my wife and children any more. I'm not even sure I know myself and what's really important to me. I've had to ask myself -- is it worth it?

I've started a new diet -- for the fifth time this year. I know I'm overweight, and I really want to change. I read all the new information, I set goals, I get myself all psyched up with a positive mental attitude and tell myself I can do it. But I don't. After a few weeks, I fizzle. I just can't seem to keep a promise I make to myself.

I've taken course after course on effective management training. I expect a lot out of my employees and I work hard to be friendly toward them and to treat them right. But I don't feel any loyalty from them. I think if I were home sick for a day, they'd spend most of their time gabbing at the water fountain. Why can't I train them to be independent and responsible -- or find employees who can be?

My teenage son is rebellious and on drugs. No matter what I try, he won't listen to me. What can I do?

There's so much to do. And there's never enough time. I feel pressured and hassled all day, every day, seven days a week. I've attended time management seminars and I've tried half a dozen different planning systems. They've helped some, but I still don't feel I'm living the happy, productive, peaceful life I want to live.

I want to teach my children the value of work. But to get them to do anything, I have to supervise every move...and put up with complaining every step of the way. It's so much easier to do it myself. Why can't children do their work cheerfully and without being reminded?

I'm busy -- really busy. But sometimes I wonder if what I'm doing will make any difference in the long run. I'd really like to think there was meaning in my life, that somehow things were different because I was here.
I see my friends or relatives achieve some degree of success or receive some recognition, and I smile and congratulate them enthusiastically. But inside, I'm eating my heart out. Why do I feel this way?

I have a forceful personality. I know, in almost any interaction, I can control the outcome. Most of the time, I can even do it by influencing others to come up with the solution I want. I think through each situation and I really feel the ideas I come up with are usually the best for everyone. But I feel uneasy. I always wonder what other people really think of me and my ideas.

My marriage has gone fiat. We don't fight or anything; we just don't love each other anymore. We've gone to counseling; we've tried a number of things, but we just can't seem to rekindle the feeling we used to have.
These are deep problems, painful problems -- problems that quick fix approaches can't solve.” Stephen Covey, the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

If you suffer from problems like the ones stated above, feel free to contact me at mezemirgirma@gmail.com or 0970381070